Monthly Archives: July 2010

Wow. I’m a terrible blogger.


There I went, making this grand schedule for myself and I skipped two days of blogging!

I’m so ashamed.

For Tuesday, my excuse was I had been to a party the night before and I slept straight through until Wednesday. I’m not even exagerrating I got home around 9 AM, went to bed and didn’t wake up until the next day. It was intense.

For Thursday I just didn’t feel like it.

I won’t let that happen again.

The party was really fun though! It was my friend’s 19th birthday and it was a sort of sleepover/tent party extravaganza. A few people did that weird sleeping thing, but most of us stayed up all night on her porch acting like morons.

Parties are kind of stressful for me. If you’re very big on the whole ‘no under-aged drinking’ thing, you may not want to read further. But yeah. If you know anything about diabetics, you know that alcohol is kind of a no-no for us. I mean we can drink it, but it requires a ridiculous amount of planning, water and peeing if we don’t want to die. So while I’d love to be an irresponsible moron like my good friends (I still love them…) and throw up in tents or on my lovely white purse, I can’t. I’ve already been pinned as the esteemed Sober One at these parties. If you’ve ever been the Sober One at a party, you know it’s kind of a mixed bag. On the one hand, you can mess with drunk people.

Here’s a trick my uncle taught me. Go up to a drunk person and hand them a dollar bill and say, “Can you hang on to this for me?” when they take it you have to go, “OK, now don’t forget the twenty dollars!” Repeat that about ten or twenty times. The next morning when they wake up naked in a tree wondering what’s going on, you go up to them and go, “Hey, remember that twenty dollars you borrowed? Can I get it back?” All they’ll remember is “twenty dollars” and voila. You just made yourself some cash. This has been proven to work and yes, I know, I can be a bitch.

On the other hand, drunk people throw up. I find them more hilarious than anything, but when they throw up…it took all I had not to break my friend’s nose for throwing up on my bag. I didn’t even mention it to her. I just took a deep breath and walked away. I even thought to check that she was still breathing occasionally when she passed out on the couch. It was touch and go there for a bit, from what I understood she is still alive. I don’t understand how. She’s a very tiny girl. I don’t understand where all the Jager and wine coolers went.

I did only drink fruity wine coolers. At least I didn’t get drunk off them. That would be downright shameful. Normally I’d be embarrassed that that was all I had to drink, but it turned out everyone liked the ones my friend got and kept asking me for mine (I had a few set aside specifically for me, because I’m a sick diabetic girl or something…I didn’t ask why.) Compared to the last party, everyone was a lot less retarded and there were no, “Oh shit what happened last night?” moments with any of them. Even if there had  been, the guy I’ve had a crush on for the longest time decided to stay sober, so it wouldn’t have mattered. That’s a story for another time.

I should probably put a disclaimer of sorts here. I am not a party girl. I do not condone under-aged drinking. Personally I don’t see the fun in getting so drunk you can’t remember the fabulous time you had. What’s the point? Now, if you put Smirnoff Ice Mango in front of me, I will chug that stuff down like it is my job. I love that stuff. But I don’t buy alcohol, I’m very careful not to drink too much, and I also choose my company wisely. I won’t accept a Jager Bomb from just anyone. If this insults you deeply on a personal level, either get over it or move on. I won’t stand for being lectured. Though you if you just want to talk about it, that’s cool. I like talking!

I know. I’m a dork. I can’t even talking about getting drunk like a normal teenager.


I Lost A Whole Game System


Warning: This here post is a rant!


Oh the glory days...

Years ago, my dad gave me his old playstation, or as we affectionately refer to it now, the PS1. I never had issues with it. I had a lot of games, and what games they were! Time Crisis, Crash Bandicoot…the glory days. I remember playing a lot of games respectable little girls should not be playing. Mortal Kombat is a nice example of this.


But does it matter anymore? NO! NO IT DOESN’T!

Just the other day I decided I wanted to play this game called Wild Arms. It’s a rather old role playing game set in the wild west for the PS1 and I’ve read so many rave reviews about how it has such a great story. I spent hours debating if I should get the remake, Wild Arms Alter Code F for the PS2. In the end I decided to start with the original game, only because the remake looks like a glitched up piece of shit with no voice acting. I can forgive an old 2D game for not having voice acting, but a PS2 game? I mean really? There’s no excuse for that. They also made a lot of odd changes from the original which doesn’t sit right with me. Don’t break what isn’t broken, and if no one complained about these things in the first game, why change it?

Anyway, during my research I discovered the original Wild Arms has a bit of a glitch too. Apparently if you don’t play it on a PS1, it sometimes freezes during boss battles or just because it feels like it. If I’m determined enough I can play it on the PS2, but I’d rather not deal with that grief.

“OK,” I told myself cheerfully. “I’ll just pull out my good ‘ol PS1!” I go to the box where I usually keep my old systems. My Nintendo 64 is still there, along with all the controllers for every game system I’ve ever owned but…where was my PS1?

How did I manage to lose a whole game system? I mean  how does that happen?

I can’t even describe how angry I am. It’s not about the PS1 being some rare model. I can easily get a new one for a cheap price. But I don’t want a new one. I want the one I’ve always had that just mysteriously went missing. I don’t know where it could be. I’ve been playing my PS2 exclusively since I got it, happy as a peach really. I have a few PS1 games now, but none of them have the issues Wild Arms supposedly has, so I never worried about it. It really is confusing. I remember seeing it once maybe…four years ago? That’s not a very helpful memory.

Despite all this nonsense, I still ordered Wild Arms (along with God of War)(yes I know I’m stupidly late to the game). I still really want to play it, but mostly I am stubborn as hell. I’ll probably do a post on it when I get it, because it looks like I’m going to love that game.


You glorious bastards. Why must you tempt me so?

I Fail At Gardening


Earlier this year I made a list. It was a list of my New Year’s Resolutions gone nuts. I think there were about ninety six things I wanted to do with my life on there, one of which included leaving the country. I’m afraid to look at it now, but I’m pretty sure I haven’t even attempted most of it. I did try one thing though, which was gardening. Really I just wanted to grow any one thing. My mom has a garden with herbs and lettuce. I was inspired! I mean how hard could it be? After being told growing corn was a bad idea considering the woodland creatures would eat it, I decided to try my luck at Chinese Forget-Me-Nots.

Aren’t they lovely?

Those are not my flowers. I found those on Google. These are my flowers:


So clearly, I did something horribly wrong. I’m still not sure what happened. I followed the instructions, got mother’s seal of approval, sang a ballad or two to my little seedlings…what more did they want? Only two sprouts appeared and one of them just keeled over and died recently. Can you kill a seed? Are they beyond repair? I need to do some research to see if I can save them, but I think it’s over for these little flowers. At least maybe that one persevering sprout stands a chance!

I might try again later but, I don’t know. I’m feeling rather unmotivated right now. It’s always so sad when you accidentally kill a plant or a small animal. There’s this moment of, “EVERYTHING I TOUCH DIES!” That’s pretty much how I feel right now. At least my dogs are relatively sturdy creatures. It’s harder to kill them anyway.

Meanwhile, my mother’s garden is blossoming. Literally, random flowers just appeared in one of the pots and we’re not sure where they came from. Some of the herbs got a little drowned out during a recent storm we had, but I’m still uber jealous of her garden. It’s not very fancy or big. We live in the woods. You can’t expect too much when those scavenger deer eat everything in their path. To protect them, she put most of them on the porch. Except the lettuce. That got abandoned in the wild garden somehow. Take a gander:


Part of her humble garden.

PhotobucketThe lettuce! I love this stuff. You can just pick it and eat it fresh. It’s delicious, though it’s gotten real wild lately as you can see.

PhotobucketThis here’s part of the Wild Garden. Someone must have planted these before we moved in. They grow here ever year.

PhotobucketAs you can see it’s really not maintained…at all.

PhotobucketAnd these are just pretty. They’re flowers, in a basket, that hang. I’m not sure what kind they are (petunias maybe?), but I picked them! See, I contributed something…

There’s a lot more, but it started to rain and I wasn’t determined enough to stay out and take more pictures. That’s only a teeny part of it. Our porch is like a garden wonderland. We also have a lot of seasonal flowers that grow around the property, but naturally I chose a time to blog about this when they all died. They tend to do that. Maybe next year I’ll catch them on time.

And now I’m sad. I wanted to be taking pictures of my pretty flowers by this point, not staring at the soil wondering what went wrong. I suppose I will try again. What do I have to lose (besides another heart break)? I wonder what I’ll plant next time…

Caring For A Sick Relative Is Hard (But remember to be zen!)


I kind of alluded to this very briefly in my post What If I Had Been Alone? My grandpa has been very sick the past few months. I was very reluctant to put a lot of details in that post, because he is a proud man. Even though he’s not a very tech-savvy gent and doesn’t know about this blog, I feel he wouldn’t like me putting his personal information on here. Someday, with his permission, I will make a detailed account of his story because it’s very important for diabetics to know. For now I’ll just say he’s a diabetic who ignored his disease for way too long and is paying the price. He’s not blind. He still has all his limbs. But he’s in constant pain and for a while he couldn’t even walk. He’s very lucky that his condition can be fixed, though I doubt he feels that way right now. Anyway, this isn’t entirely about that.

I want to talk about coping with a sick relative. Yesterday I just…it was a horrible day for everyone involved. It was a mess filled with communication fail, stubbornness and just overall angst.

Without going into too much detail, here’s a few things that I always knew, but really became clear to me yesterday.

  • If your parent or relative can’t get food on their own without help, always ask them if they need anything. Even if you’re just passing through to use the bathroom.
Wheelchair Pictures, Images and Photos

He has a wheelchair, but our house really isn't wheelchair friendly...

  • Take that extra fifteen minutes to make their food the way they like it. It won’t kill you, and wouldn’t you want them to do the same for you?
  • Your parent or relative is probably really depressed. Losing your independence sucks, especially when you’re used to being the one who takes care of others.


  • Depression and pain tend to make people angry. Your relative will probably say something hurtful to you. They might get angry and have short tempers. Maybe they’ll be stubborn and refuse to eat if you don’t make their food exactly to their specifications. I can tell you from experience, it hurts. Let’s just say I spent most of yesterday crying. The important thing to remember is they don’t mean it.
  • Getting angry will just make things worse. When you’re angry you’re not any more rational then they are. You’ll snap at the rest of your family (who need your support), you’ll make yourself sick and you may come fairly close to kicking your dog. In the worst case scenario, your anger will drive your relative  into a deeper depression. As much as it hurts, try to be strong for them. It’s hard, but it will help in the long run.

Yesterday I was angry, frustrated and tired. Wow, I was so tired. All of a sudden everything  just became so overwhelming to me. That and being on the receiving end of my grandpa’s anger kind of ruined my day. Once my temper kicked in I blamed everyone around me, even my aunt and uncle who live two hours away. After I had a K-Pop marathon, I was able to calm down enough to think, “What happened to that awesome person I wanted to become?” I wasn’t being awesome or zen. Instead there I was butting heads with my grandpa, when I should know better. I’m the healthy one. I’m not in near constant pain. I’m still exhausted, but today on until he recovers, I’m going to make more of an effort.


Face it, in a lot of cases this person probably raised you. I know my grandpa was a big part in raising me. I’m sure during all that time they were taking care of you, you had your moments where you were a little douchebag, giving them all sorts of attitude left and right. And to think your worst problem was probably puberty.

Photoshop ATE MY SOUL (I made leather!)


When I first made this blog, there was a bit of drama regarding themes. I’ll be honest, I hate using a premade theme. I hated that I had to spend money for the upgrades to make my own theme even more. But WordPress is like some kind of drug. Even though I tried switching to Blogger (which arguably has easier customizing options) I had to come back here just because…I don’t even know. I just like it better. So I’ve made a mini-pact with myself to learn how to make graphics. I started trying to learn CSS, but it seems much easier to just make the graphics, then have someone else code it for me, hehe.

I downloaded Photoshop 7 a few days ago with the help of my friend Emily, who is a graphics genius. She makes gorgeous skins for forums like Invisionfree. I love looking at them. If you want to see some of her stuff, I’ll put the link at the end of this post. Just credit her if you decide to use any of her skins. She and I will both rage if you decide to be a nasty ‘ol thief.

I know I could ask her to whip up a nice header and background for me, but she seems busy and I hate asking seriously. So for now I’m sticking with Bueno and I’ve been practicing. I want to be able to make a nice header for this board, just to get my feet wet with this whole skinning business. Maybe in a few months when PS7 doesn’t completely confuse me, I’ll try my hand at designing my own site. Take a gander at some of the stuff I’ve been making. Warning: You may explode from the awesome.


Sexiest. Leather. Ever!


I call her Trina. She's on fire.

I know, I know. Pretty amazing right? …yeah I know, not really. But I’m learning! I’ve been following some tutorials on this website that I’ll link to down below. It’s really hard, especially when I have these moments of, “WOW, what am I doing?” It has helped a lot though.

I’m so proud of how Trina came out. It’s actually really easy to get the fire effect that I did. The only issue I had is that PS7 is a piece of crap. It’s so OLD. That’s mostly what makes following tutorials so challenging. I had to find different ways of doing things that were usually harder and more time consuming. Meanwhile with their fancy new versions they just click and bam! They had the fire perfectly shaped.  I might splurge on one of the more hi-tech versions in the future, but right now I’m fine with this. I am still learning after all. Anyway you’ll see. I’ll have a gorgeous header for this blog when I…you know, figure out how to work photoshop. It might be a while…

Some Sexy Links

Click for the best Lint Skins in all the land!

Learn how to make a Leather texture here!

Learn how to set chicks on fire!