I think I’m what they call ‘straight-edge’. Is that the right term? I drink the minimal amount of wine coolers and refuse to do drugs or smoke cigarettes under any circumstances whatsoever. People like to tell me I will change my mind about doing drugs someday as a part of my natural youngin’ stupidity. I find this disturbing.
So you’d think the fact that I’m the polar opposite of every stoner ever makes it kind of weird that most of my friends are indeed high about fifty percent of the time. And you’d be right.
I kind of understand how it happened. It goes by similar rules to how I managed to get in with the cliquey emo crowd in high school. I befriended/was pitied by the group leader. They’re usually the only ones with any form of individual thoughts of their own and the rest of the group just does whatever the crap they do. I’m pretty sure I’ve been using this friend building system my entire life…it never works well, but it seriously happens every time.
I went to that zombie party on…was it Tuesday? It was fairly fun, even though half the people got randomly drunk off smirnoff and we ended up giving up on zombies and watching Glee for hours on end singing show tunes. One of my high school buddies came, and she was so clearly out of place that I felt sorry for her. But at the same time I was pretty damn proud. For once I wasn’t the one who stood out. I had learned to become one of group.
When the party was over, instead of going home and sleeping, I randomly went home with a friend of mine. I had pulled an all-nighter and was cramping all over the place, and my other two friends were high off their gourds. We made a good trio. Now, these are the same friends who offered me a room in a house they want to rent, and it really occured tome how fucked up this situation is.
I love my friends. Really I do. But let’s be practical.
- They smoke some kind of drug-like substance about every five seconds.
- They get drunk every night
- They hate little dogs.
- They smell absolutely disgusting.
- They can be rather judgmental when they want to be.
I told them the reason I had a headache and my eyes were watering was due to a mixture of cat allergies and my period being a bitch, but the truth was her house smelled so bad and all the smoke was really starting to get to me. It was nauseating and I’ve always had bad reactions to cigarette smoke, which is why I’ll never try it. I stopped being proud of my status in the group rather quickly. Though I guess it is rather amusing how I’m the uncorrupted unicorn princess. It’s true. I am. That doesn’t change the fact that living with them would be a nightmare.
I don’t want to get rid of my current friends. Despite it all, they are good friends and they’re sensitive about my diabetes, which is very important to me. It can get overbearing at times, but I prefer it to them awkwardly trying to pretend it doesn’t exist, especially when there’s alcohol involved. I’ll always be grateful to one friend who takes such good care of me. At her own birthday party, she made sure I had things to drink (both alcoholic and non) set aside plenty of filtered water for spoiled ‘lil me, and even got me a sugar free cupcake. Even her mother is such a sweetheart. I disagree with her parenting methods completely, but her heart is in the right place and I love how she’s like, “I didn’t know when you’d be coming over again, but look I bought you some sugar free lemonade in case you get thirsty.”
So I will keep them around. But their lifestyle is not for me. I like to think we have an understanding of, “You do your thing and I’ll do mine.” We’ll see how that works out in the future.